Kids Jokes - Laugh Out Loud

Here is the list of school jokes and riddles for children and kids:
Q: What did the ground say to the earthquake?
A: You crack me up!

Q: What kind of plates do they use on Venus?
A: Flying saucers!

Q: What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?
A: Stop going in circles and get to the point!

Q: What has 5 eyes and is lying on the water?
A: The Mississippi River

Q: What stays in the corner, but travels around the world?
A: A stamp

Q: What is the smartest state?
A: Alabama, it has four A's and one B.

Q: What is the capital of Washington?
A: The W

Q: Why was the math book sad?
A: Because it had too many problems.

Q: What do we call an angry pea?
A: Grump-pea

Q: How do you find a lost rabbit?
A: Easy make a nose like a carrot

Q: What is white when its dirty and black when its clean?
A: A blackboard!

Q: Why didn't the two 4s want any lunch?
A: Because they already 8!

Hillarious Halloween Jokes

1) What Halloween treat is never on time?

Choco-late

2) Where do candied apples volunteer?

In the peace core

3) What does a skeleton eat at a picnic?

Barbecued ribs

4) What are they serving for dessert on Halloween this year?

I Scream and cake

5) What's a tasty treat at cementries?

Straw-burries and cream

6) Why couldn't the witch stay on vacation?

There wasn't any broom at the hotel

7) where do ghosts go for baked beans?

Boo-oston,Massachusetts

8) Wheredo vampires fly to for a vacation by the  sea?

Cape Cod

9) What do Australian ghosts hunt with?

Boo-merangs

10) Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have lot of spirit

11) What do you call it when Halloween spirits rob a bank?

A polter - heist

12) What do old spirits do when they retire?

They move to a ghost town.

13) What do you call ghosts born during world war II ?

Baby Boooooomers

14) What do you do when a pumpkin arrives at your house for dinner?

Offer him a seed in the living room.

15) How does a ghost get into a house?

It uses a spook -key

16) Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day?

 It's good for the bones.

17) Why do vampires drink blood?

 Because Tea and coffee keeps them awake all day

18) Why did the ghost go to the doctor?

 To get his boo-ster shot

19) When does a ghost need a license?

 During "haunting" season.

20) How did the ghost patch his sheet?

With a pumpkin patch.

Pet Bird Jokes

1) What kind of weather excites a pet duck ?

Of Course, fowl weather !

2) Which vacation spot will really make your pet bird sing for joy ?

The Canary Islands

3) What holiday is strictly observed by all birds ?

Feathers Day 

4) How do you stop a 10 pound parrot from talking too much ?

Buy a 20 pound pussy cat

5) Where can birds play proffessional baseball?

In the mynah leagues

HOW TO START YOUR DAY WITH A POSITIVE ATTITUDE !

HOW TO START YOUR DAY WITH A POSITIVE  ATTITUDE :

1. Open a new file in your PC .
2. Name it " Boss "
3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN
4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN
5. Your  PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete Boss permanently? "
6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly....
7. Feel better?

HAVE A GREAT DAY

Have a Great Day Comments & Graphics

Santa Banta Jokes

Santa Singh was mowing his front yard when his neighbour Banta Singh came out of the house and went straight to her mailbox.He opened the mailbox, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into his house.

A little later, he came out of his house again, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and again slammed it shut. Angrily back into the house he went.

As the Santa singh was getting ready to edge the lawn, the banta singh came out again. Hemarched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by his actions, santa singh asked banta singh, “Is something wrong?”

Banta Singh replied, “There certainly is! My   stupid computer keeps telling me I have mail!”